Anger

Anger 

Some time ago, I was one of the workers at a Men’s Conference. While serving at the conference, I noticed a common thread among the men I met with in a private setting. Almost every man was struggling with anger. And, almost every man was looking for approval from his father or grandfather. 

Over the next two weeks I will take a look at these two elements. 

How do I know that I have an issue with anger? There are three symptoms of Anger. 

One must ask oneself if they have a low boiling point. Are you like a time bomb just waiting for the slightest opportunity to explode? If so, odds are you may have an issue with anger. 

One must also ask themselves if they are high strung – constantly in a state of stress……even when there is nothing to be stressful about. If so – you may have an anger issue that needs attention. 
One must ask oneself – honestly – am I the type of person who seeks revenge for the smallest thing that happens? Do I take everything as though it was personally done to me? If so, again, you may need to take a closer look at an anger issue.

So, why do people get angry? Why do I get angry? 

Often people get angry because they feel their rights have been violated. They feel they received the short end of the stick or did not get what they justly deserved. 

Many people walk around like a Tasmanian Devil because they are disappointed with where they are in life. At some point, they woke up and say, “This is it? This is what I have worked so hard for?” Their severe disappointment turns to anger rather than using that disappointment to fuel them to reach higher. 

Many people get angry because they have missed the goals they had set for themselves. If this is the case, one must look back and ask if that goal was attainable. Being 5’4” tall and expecting to be a starting center in the NBA is a goal that is nearly impossible to hit. Other times when a goal is missed, rather than look inwardly at what needs to change and improve – people turn to anger, blaming others. 

Anger comes from allowing everything in life to be an irritation. These people walk around like they are covered in poison ivy – just waiting for a reason to scratch. When they scratch, the ivy spreads or tears the skin open creating a wound that takes a long time to heal. 

Anger also erupts when people feel they are misunderstood. In this instance, frustration festers into the feeling that no one knows what I am feeling. Loneliness kicks in as an accelerant and anger is the match that strikes the fire. 
Some folks set expectations that they know they cannot attain. They overload their planners and schedules with tasks and assignments. They set goals way too high. They want more than friends and relatives can deliver. And, they want more from themselves than they are capable of delivering on. This ignites the powder keg. 

Lastly, we must also consider that there may be medical and / or psychological issues going on – in which case a professional should be introduced into the situation. 

So, how do we deal with issues of our own anger? 

First, recognize that there is a something greater than you. Then – pray. 

Secondly be humble enough to recognize that there is a problem and be willing to yield your rights. Put the focus on someone other than you. 

Use your emotions to be a motivator rather than an excuse to lash out. 

Lastly learn to respond to situations rather than reacting to them. Animals react to situations. Humans have minds to stop for a second – think it through – then respond.