Approval

Approval

Last week, we took a look at Anger. This week, we will be exploring Approval. This blog comes about after I was one of the workers at a Men’s Conference. While serving at the conference, I noticed a common thread among the men I met with in a private setting. Almost every man was struggling with anger. And, almost every man was looking for approval from his father or grandfather. 

I guess what impacted me the most with the men I met with was that many of them were my age or older. They were seeking approval from their fathers and grandfathers. As they shared their story with me, my mind wandered how many of those men’s fathers and grandfathers were no longer alive.

In other words, these men were living their lives out every day just waiting for approval from a person who was no longer alive. Yes, to put it another way, they were seeking approval from a dead guy.
We all want the same basic things: to know that we matter; to know what we are doing really counts; to have someone tell us that we are appreciated.

A recent survey stated that many people would rather have a “pat on the back” or an “atta boy” or the boss tell them “great job” than they would a raise. 

Ask yourself, how long has it been since you shared a compliment? How long has it been since YOU let someone know they mattered, or what they were doing counted in the grand scheme of things?

BUT, you may say I thought this was about ME. Well, yes, in some ways it is. 

In the book Balcony People, readers are told by the author that they need cheerleaders….people who will stand in the balcony of life and cheer them on.

Getting back to the “is this about them or me” piece? I suggest reading The Go Giver by my coach, friend, mentor and business associate Bob Burg and John David Mann.

In order to receive you must be willing to give. Yes you read that correctly. 

That’s how it works – you want to be appreciated and get approval? Then appreciate and give approval to enough people – and you will have what you want.

While you are at it – watch this great video. It describes what I am saying in a much better way than I could put it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao