What is a friend?

This week’s blog will focus (as one might guess from the title) on what a friend is.  We will explore what a friend is and what a friend is not.


A friend is someone you know you can trust.  You and another person have invested time and energy in getting to know and understand each other.  It started with a common bond – maybe you both liked the same sports team, attended the same college or high school.  Perhaps you are from the same town.  Or, maybe you both enjoy the same hobby.


No matter how that friendship began, there always was a certain connectivity or commonality between the two of you.


As you spent more time together, the relational bond grew closer.  You both learned about each other’s likes and dislikes.  Through conversation and spending time together you both learned of each other’s joys and sorrows, your hopes and dreams, values and possibly your political opinions.


So, what is a friend?  A friend is not someone who is a “yes man” with you.  It has been said that if 2 people agree totally on everything – one of them serves no purpose.  So a friend is someone who may even disagree with you on a point, but likes you anyway.


What is a friend?  A friend is not someone who hates / dislikes the same things or people as you do.   Friendship is built on compassion, care, love and understanding.


A friend is someone who knows ALL about you and likes you in spite of it.


A friend builds you up when others are tearing you down.


A friend is someone who sticks up for you even when you are not around.


A friend is someone who allows you to make choices (right or wrong) yet reaches out to pull you up as you are falling down.


A friend is someone who wants the very best for you. You see, a good friend multiplies your joy and divides your grief.  They never get in your way, unless you are on the way down.  They walk in when everyone else walks out on you.


A friend is someone who is willing to give some of themselves to help you move toward you being your very best.  It has been said that friends that don’t want you to climb will make you crawl.  They will either stretch your vision or choke you dream.


A friend is someone who gives you space when you need it, and allows you to make your own decisions, whether those decisions are right or wrong.  One thing to keep in mind, in good times, our friends know us.  In bad times, we know our friends.


A friend is someone who does not run away when you make a mess of things, and still accepts you as a friend.  A friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway. A real friend is a person who, when you have made a fool of yourself let’s you forget it.


You see… Friends in your life are like pillars on a porch:  sometimes they hold you up; sometimes you lean on them; sometimes they lean on you; sometimes it’s just nice to know they are standing by for support.


There are good ships and there are bad ships, but the best ships are friendships.


Some time ago, there was a study done, where 50 participants had to individually stick their bare feet and legs in to a bucket of ice.  The participants then were each timed.  The person, who was able to keep their foot in the icy cold water the longest, lasted 20 minutes.


A separate set of 50 participants were then to take the same test.  However, this group was allowed to pair off in twos.  One person would put their feet in the ice and water, while their teammate stood beside them offering encouragement and cheering them on.


What was the result?  The winner in the pair’s competition outlasted the individual contestant by 2 and ½ times.


The study noted the reason for their success was because people need encouragement, a cheering on.  And, when they have that person who believes in them, they are able to do more, become more, grow more and survive better.


Who are the pillars in your life that you lean on?


What can you do as a friend to strengthen that bond?


Have you made any new friends lately?  One always needs to expand their network of friends.


Are your friends supportive, trustworthy, encouragers?  Are you supportive, encouraging and trustworthy to them?


During the coming week, examine your friendships – from a “what am I investing in this relationship” perspective.


Have a great week


Ron